Match Reports

24th April 2010 - Away v Old Walcountians (24-22)

This match report will appear on the "Old Walcountian 2010" page

10th April 2010 - Home v Old Newts (24-19)

For our penultimate league game and final home game of the season, we were delighted to welcome a promotion chasing Old Newts and a bit of April sunshine. Our own promotion push scuppered by not turning out against Loughborough.
 Nango decided to put himself on the bench to run the roost over players prior to tour selection. Puggy injured, but had put his kit on if a crisis should ensue. We welcomed back Charlie and Stan to the starting line up.
 Your reporter for the day Togga was late to the match as well as with the match report. partly due to work and partly due to visiting the bookies to get his Grand National bets on. As I turned up Lions had forged into a twelve point lead with tries from Stan and Gareth. Buster had taken the captaincy armband and Matt Gardner was pulling the strings from 10. The sun had brought a good crowd out and with the first team winning heavily some of the Liverpool St Helens supporters had given up on their match and switched to watch how it should be done.
 As the half wore on the crowd and Nango especially were getting irate with the ref a man perhaps only his wife could love.  The Lions early dominance gone we found ourselves coming under pressure from the big pitch, apathy towards tackling and a general lack of fitness. The only saving grace being Newts were equally as Old, Slow and carrying the same burden of  weight.  Your reporter then leaves the fray for the rest of the half, as against his better judgment he agrees to play the second half. Having rustled up some kit from Wayne and found Rita had already made the tea I was leisurely getting changed and enjoying my cuppa when, a frantic Nango clucking like a mother hen, reports Matt Gardner is injured Puggy has deemed it not crisis enough to call on his services and Newts have scored to make it 12-7.
 Apart from injury the big change in the second half is Dan having to go early because he’s got something on the go in his slow cooker. As improbable excuses go because it’s Dan it’s vaguely plausible and can be said with a straight face. A career change may be calling look out for master chef next year.

The second half gets underway and both teams surprisingly given their age and size employ a running game. A big pitch at our disposal and tackles thin on the ground plenty of end to end play without any end product ensues. About 15 minutes in to the half Lions break out from half way good handling in the backs sees us reach the 22 Togga feeds Gareth who is supporting on the inside at speed he in turn throws the ball out to Charlie, but in doing so doesn’t see the ref on his left his momentum carries him straight into him and knocks him flying. The ref then lets out a squeal that Wilba or Bailey would be proud of and is left moaning on the ground. Fortunately for the ref his aforementioned wife is in attendance and comes to his aid as both teams showed little inclination to get involved, he is eventually helped off and a replacement ref is found.
The game restarts with the new ref both teams realise a big see change has happened. The new ref turns out to be an ex premiership ref and is now an international assessor. He wants us to play the game at such  an alien pace we are left forlornly looking for the whistle for a breather, cries of “man down” are met with “so what” Andy Winsland tried the “but we’re Vets” argument to which the reply was “I’m 50 and I can keep up” Settling as best we could at the new found pace Lions won a line out deep in the 22 managed to secure the ball and from the maul Stan broke down the blind and pirouetted his way through a couple of tackles to increase our lead to 17-7.
Newts came straight back at us and despite some desperate defence scored again. With the game continuing at breakneck speed Lions squandered a number of chances to increase their advantage Iain’s hands letting him down when away, and Dave Allison back in the fold after his long injury lay off failed to convert a four man overlap. It was with a small stoke of fortune that we did increase our advantage, following a scrum in the 22 Buster fed Togga who found a gap and was just held up short of the line, as he tried to pass the ball back he got knocked down and his heel caught the ball sending it looping forward and Nige Prothero was on hand to burst through and finish the job. 4 Ady added the conversion.(24-14)  The last 5 minutes was all Newts and only last gasp tackling from Harry and Gareth kept them at bay. An audible sigh of relief was heard when the ref shouted last play and as we relaxed Newts took advantage to score.
Knackered and relieved we trooped off to soak up the sun and see if Rita’s tea was still warm. Chris produced a big box of biscuits to accompany the tepid tea and our home fixtures fulfilled for another season.
NB Tudgy once again stepped into the breech and played for the opposition, as an ever present this season he has once again racked up the most appearances for and against us.                        
  

27th March 2010 - Away v Melton (20-20)

This year’s post-budget league game against Melton Rugby Club was perhaps to be the last game before the dissolution of Parliament under The Septennial Act 1715. The United Kingdom does not have fixed term Parliaments or general elections. The Septennial Act, as amended by section 7 of the Parliament Act 1911, merely requires that a Parliament be dissolved after a maximum of five years. In theory, once five years has passed, a Parliament expires, but in practice the Prime Minister normally requests a dissolution from the Monarch before that date. So you could say this is the last game under a Labour Government, younger members of the team have never played rugby under any other parliamentary party, or uniquely a hung parliament as many predict the forthcoming election.

Alistair Darling hasn’t help rugby club finances this week, nor those of the country with a budget that one right-wing newspaper describe “if a private sector company had shown this degree of incompetence the fraud squad would be called in”. When the chancellor has to increase tax on “Tramp Juice” (cider) to inflation + 10% to help balance the books, the country must recognize the perilous state of public finances, and with so many public sector employees playing for the Lions Vets this season we need to keep this situation closely monitored.  If, as many economists predict, public sector finances are slashed, the team could be further depleted with yet more players drawing unemployment benefit and may be spending less on ‘tramp juice’ behind the club house bar.  Nango please remember that Fuel Duty was increased by 1p, so when handing out “tour petrol money” it must be considered. 

Dan Quelch was the first to arrive at the Melton Clubhouse to be greeted by Melton Nomads (MMRFC Vets) assembling in the lounge, it was evident they had far more than 15 players, at a close glance there were 20+ pork pie eaters surrounding their captain.  Melton Mowbray is a unique rugby destination for the Lions vets as the Melton Mowbray Pork Pie has  "Protected Geographical Indication" from the European Commission and cannot be copied elsewhere.  So pork pie eaters can be assured of the quality of Melton’s finest.  The only other place, that we visit playing rugby, that could have any close gastronomic association with Melton was Market Harborough famed for being the former home to HP Sauce and Smith’s Shake n Salt crisps (the variety with the tiny blue bag). Sadly HP sauce is now made in the Netherlands………… do they still make Shake n Salt crisps?

Lions vets began to assemble, Nango was already moaning that Matt Gardner had let us down yet again with a poor excuse that he’d got problems with his car, more like pi55ed-up after breaking up from school or still carrying on with this mysterious bird!

Leaving the clubhouse through the warren of building work being undertaken, we arrived on the furthest pitch to see Melton training with at least 25 players in there extensive squad.

With several players missing and no recognised scrum half (Buster, Stu & Togga all injured) Dave Allison stepped in after some prolonged begging from the captain and eventually the game kicked off. Within a few minutes Melton were in the lead from an early penalty. Shortly after the restart the referee’s ankle went and he needed to be carried from the field, clearly in pain.  A Melton player assumed the refs duties with immediate pressure from the Lions with Iain scoring a well-deserved try making it 3 -5 to the Lions. Shortly after the kick off, Lions retained the ball after a confrontation between the Melton No 7 and Puggy. A further ankle injury saw Melton forced to make the first of several changes. The play moved deep in to Melton territory and from a 5m scrum, Winsland at No.8 was able to break on the blindside and assisted by Dave Allison managed to put the ball down for the score 3-10 Puggy failing again with the conversion.

Brimming with confidence, Winsland decided it was his turn to take over kicking duties, retrieving ball from a maul, fielded the ball deep in to opposition territory and finding the Melton at full tilt, who then ran the ball from the half way line before releasing a centre for a score under the posts making the game level at 10 all at 30 mins gone. Lessons not learned Harry decided to follow suit with kick from his own goal line, which led to a carbon copy Melton try, again the Home side’s kicker was able to convert and Lions ending the half 17 – 10 down despite having possession & territorial advantage for most of the half.  Stan took on the half time team chat using the opportunity to discuss his own injuries and how he would be best kept on the bench whilst assuring everyone that the game was very much winnable.

After numerous Melton personnel changes the second half started however shortly after the kick off a nasty eye gash saw a reluctant Stan (Lions only sub) replace the now bloodied Chris, some positional juggling – Ken moving to prop and Stan slotting in at wing forward play resumed. Lions conceded an early penalty and the metronomic Melton booted increased the lead further 20 – 1. Melton taking advantage of the strong wind kept the pressure on from the restart kicking deep to the corners, one such kick secured by the Lions Captain Nango with the support of Dan led to Lions first meaningful attack of the half when Puggy managed to find a touch deep in the opposition half; despite a poor record at the line out Lions managed to retain one. Distributed quickly and assisted by some strong illusive running from Chas (returning to the team after a 6 month absence) Lions pressured the Melton defensive line and a missed tackle saw Dan Quelch score in the corner.  20 – 15 down with 10 minutes left to play.

Melton continued to use the boot to gain territory but the ball was returned up field on each occasion by Puggy and Lions remained encamped in the Melton 22 for the remainder of the half after another surprise success at the line-out. With time running out Lions pack managed to recover scrum ball against the head, releasing the ball out wide wing Iain managing secure a brace after evading the Melton defense to score a great try in the corner in the dying seconds of the match, 20-20. Lions left the pitch lamenting missed kicks that may have secured a victory.

The post match food was excellent with a variety of dishes available, compliments to MMRFC for the food. 

13th March 2010 - Away v Aylestone Athletic (14-34)

Okay I lost the race with Matt to get the report in, but he didn’t have to organise the Coalville match or arrange a tour to Surrey! Anyway, a squad of seventeen assembled at Victoria Park. Some, or Dan and Rich to be precise arrived by bike and had great difficulty in securing their means of transport, others like Stu, arrived from Lions by car, but unlike others Stu was penniless or had no change or just felt the captain was overpaid so took out a major loan with him to pay the car parking fees. He later tried to claim this on expenses, but this ploy failed as Nango charged him £6.50 in match fees. Sadly these were to be the last subs Stu will pay this season as he picked up a serious shoulder injury. The Tour Deputy Chief Executive will now be a spectator in Surrey. Good luck and a speedy recovery, Stu. A few arrived on foot including Nango, Harry and a very late Matt G, taking over the Pugh role in both position and tardiness. Tom turned up, bless him, but left fairly sharpish with a swollen face. This didn’t stop him ( and his brother) assaulting his captain in Belvoir Street much later in the evening. In the pavilion changing rooms the usual Lions banter was evident with team members boasting about who was most knackered, who drank the most on Friday night and so on. The normal relaxed approach to games became even more laid back when the news filtered through that our opposition only had eleven players and only two front row amongst them. At this point Big Matt had a resigned look on his face as his eyes met those of the skipper, but said nothing.
With clothes safely packed into kit bags, as is the ritual in Vicky Park the team took to the field to do their final preparations for the game. At this point Matt declared his hand and put on an Athletic shirt. Young Nangreave also joined the ranks of the opposition to even up the sides (well nearly). With both sides now organised the game began. The Lions numerical superiority told for much of the game and an early lead was established as Nango crossed the line in the corner after good work by the forwards, Togga and Iain. This was soon knocked back as Athletic seized on a dodgy pass Buster and scored under the posts the conversion put them in the lead. The Lions then took over and tries by Togga, Iain, Cookie, Dan and Stu with as couple of conversions by Matt gave them a 34 -7 advantage. The home side would not give up however and a loose pass by Rich led to a good and deserved score to make the final score 34-14. The score reflected the difference in the two teams, including the number of players on each team. Thanks to The front row of Wayne (who played his first full game of the season), Tudgy and Chris all deserve a mention as does Adrian who was solid in the centre.
Everyone apart from Dan reassembled in the Old Horse for a little repast and a glass or two of delicious ale. Dan had decided to visit Puggy’s shop to discuss our result rather than join his mates for a beer. This may have been because he was asked to take Harry’s place at half time on the Aylestone Athletic team and unlike his younger counterpart, he had no impact on proceedings whatsoever whilst playing for them. It is always enjoyable to spend time with Athletic in their pub enhanced this year by the England game on TV. Apparently it was quite late before some of the Lions players picked up their kit bags and went home. 

6th March 2010 - Home v Loughborough

League - Away Walk Over - Lions unable to raise a side 

20th February 2010 - Home v Aylestonians (17-10)

With the rest of Leicestershire coated in a thick white blanket it was with some suprise that we found the Westleigh Park pitches free from snow for the return fixture with the leagues in form side Aylestonians. Three home games this saturday meant it was imperative that Vets had an early kick off to ensure both warm shower and space at the bar. The much changed opposition were already out on the pitch so all looked good, even team laggard & stand off Puggy had managed to arrive on time saving our captain from his usual bafta winning stalling tactics even the general atmosphere of lethargy and Walshy's boot lace snapping failed to prevent a prompt 2.15 kick off. Over the last couple of weeks we'd been relying on Bobby Brown's colts to make up the numbers and today was no exception with Stu & Sam injecting pace to our back row and Ethan who prior to kick off had already proved exceptional in the fact that he was able to fit in the 9 shirt - the first to do so this season. Bobby's prodogies were imersed in the play from the begining, felling Aylestonian ball carriers at will, their exuberance rubbing off on the aged bones of the rest of the team, even Daniel managed to get in on the act with an exciting run from midfield which was to include a previously unseen sidestep (independently verified by Neil Hall from the side line). With Lions in the ascendancy both territorially & in possession, the visitors scored! a sliced defensive kick was dribbled up field for an unconverted score 0-5. From the restart normal service resumed helped in no small part by the high penalty count from the Ayslestonian infringements at ruck & maul and after some good interplay from Adrian & Stu in the centres Daniel raced in to level the scores only to be called back for a knock on earlier in the move. A bout of pugilism shortly afterwards saw Walshy & the Visitors No7 enjoy an enforced 10 minute break on the sideline. The half came to a premature end after injuries to players from both sides.

The second half saw Nango make changes to the pack (Young Stu, Chris & Big Matt making way for Winsland, Ken Vernon & Wayne) but the pattern of the game remained unchanged with Lions again on the front foot, the kick off was fielded by Sam who raced forward evading the defense, feeding his fellow colt Ethan on the 22 who then darted in for a score, converted by Puggy. A second Lions try followed when another Ethan break saw the young scrum half release Adrian who dummied to the outside before going under the posts, with Puggy again making the conversion 14-5. Lions continued to threaten and with the defense stretched a forward pass from Stu prevented the lead being extended. Nango made his final change seeing Rich make way for Tom Earnshaw, shortly after when a penalty was awarded for the inevitable Aylestonian offside Puggy was able to aquire another three points from the boot 17-5. A kick up field from Puggy was hunted down by Harry only to be clothes lined on the 5m line. With the clock running down Aylestonians managed a break away and another score 17-10 causing a few nervous moments before the final whislte secured the points & the win.

13th February 2010 - Home v Hinckley (8-10)

As is usual on Valentines Weekend, the club house was very quiet, players were mulling around and hoping that no injury would become them during the game and thwart any nocturnal action with there other half later. Most players were concentrating on Dave Cornwall's fire building capabilities or as we witnessed distinct lack of them, on a somewhat chilly afternoon the fire was soon out as there was far too much coal on the fire (smothered I heard someone say). Dan and Wayne were scanning the clubhouse walls looking at old pictures and discussing a 1980 Wigston RFC 1st Team Picture and that fact that was Buster was still playing with us although absent from todays starting line-up.

With our game being the only fixture at home, it was pleasing to note, for the second weekend running, Bobby Brown was able to help our beleaguered numbers by lending us some great colts to bolster a somewhat weakened Vets Team with Puggy, Togga, Matt Gardner (has Matt got a bird!?!), Buster all missing due to Valentines commitments / duties / no pass out etc.

As usual there was a mass rush to the changing rooms so the larger lads could grab shirts that actually fit the "bay window", most who have become accustomed to the desperate kit situation now wash and retain there own personal shirt, Winsland was a classic example pulling a Daz White shirt from his bag. Despite problems with out kit, Hinckley pulled out the most awful kit most possibly witnessed on the rugby circuit, it would only be described as jungle camouflage / tiger patten. But the best kit of the day was the Referees "day glow" shirt, in fact someone mentioned the last time they'd seen tops like that was at the M1 road works.

The referee was slightly agitated by the fact the pitch we were due to use has a scrummage machine parked on it, but that was soon moved on by a well drilled Hinckley team who'd been warming up for a good 30 mins before the Vets left the warmth of the clubhouse.

The game commenced with a poor KO by Hinckley followed by a great pressure from the Lions with several great attacking runs by Nango. Hinckley confidence ebbed their main offensive weapon appeared to be prolonged bouts of kicking. Lions scrum was outstanding, but the ball was lost at 20 mins and the Hinckley player with the smashing long blonde locks (to be topical, lets call him Shirley Valentine) scored but the conversion was missed. For the colts benefit, its a film [Shirley Valentine (1989) - Shirley's a middle-aged housewife (from Liverpool unfortunately), who finds herself talking to the wall while she prepares her husband's chip'n'egg, wondering what happened to her life. She compares scenes in her current life with what she used to be like and feels she's stagnated and in a rut. But when her best friend wins an all-expenses-paid vacation to Greece for two, Shirley begins to see the world, and herself, in a different light and starts knocking off Stavros from the kebab shop].

It was an excellent performance from a weakened Lions team and at half-time we were losing 5 - 3. Several changes were made and Walshie was on for Chris after handing over the official photography duties to Buster.

2nd half was a strong performance with some great runs from the colts and Dan Quelch who had returned from the Far East to play, Dan replaced injured wing Iain. Dan's impact was soon noticeable with various strong runs that were well supported by the fans on the wing, namely Buster and Matt Gardner. A try was certainly on the cards, with Lions pressure building, the Lions colt Billy Garnet finally touched down.

Hinckley score another try in the second half, the game was low scoring with a final score off 10 - 8 to Hinckley. Thanks to all the colts who played so well for us today.

Returning the the clubhouse, Rita's special brew was served to all, trouble is we only had 7 cups..... !!!!

6th February 2010 - Away v Aylestonians (37-19)

Another Saturday rolls on and the fixture secretary has obviously been working hard on our behalf –the match away to Old Northamptonians had been dropped for a much closer rearranged league match- Aylestonians away. Despite the lack of distance, a number of changes were apparent in the away dressing room - including the appearance of 2 colts players, who Nango had obviously drafted in as some sort of work experience policy.
After our victory against a strong Melton team the week before, hopes were running high in the run up to the match. That is until a head appeared around the changing room door – apparently the 1st team’s opponents had cried off, so they didn’t have a match, so “we might have a few replacements, If that’s ok?”. Nango, ever the sportsman, acceded to their request and then happily passed all the rest of the match day decisions to Matt G, despite the protestations from said player about the risk of losing his 100% success rate as skipper (1 match).

30th January 2010 - Home v Melton Mowbray (24-5)

The Captain apologises profusely for the tardiness of this report there is no excuse. He would point out in mitigation that there has been a team on the pitch every week and tea after all recent home games, even though the former becomes more difficult every week because of injuries, unavailabilities etc.

It is 18 days since the game was played which is a record in lateness of producing the match report, beating the previously record of 10 days held by Togga. His excuse was swine flu. This inordinate length of time means whatever memories of the match were recorded in the skippers mind have now completely gone so everything else is made up apart from the final score and scorers. 

A strong team was fielded on the day including the errant Wilba, who insists on playing in the thirds and Bull making a welcome appearance with the Vets. It was great to welcome back Tom Earnshaw, now well on the road to full recovery after his very serious illness last year. We also had a former Lancaster boy in Matt Vernon, and the welcome return of Leathers and Gareth both featuring on the back row (according to the team sheet).  

Puggy was probably late so the usual delaying tactics were employed prior to kick off. It was also necessary to send the middle Earnshaw boy to fetch some match balls, because we left them in the changing rooms as usual.

Eventually we kicked off and soon found ourselves 0-5 down as the Melton outside centre created a space and popped the ball to his winger to score. There were no further scores from the Melton team, despite their continued pressure throughout. Indeed it was the Lions scrum half Watson who scored next, Puggy converting to make the score 7-5 at half time, accurately reflecting the play.

In the second half the Lions superiority showed. First to score was Iain to make the score 12-5. Shortly after, Tudgy, hovering in the middle of the pitch managed to take and give the ball to the young Nangreave who touched down; 17-5. The final try, a fine effort by the young Bevan, converted by Pugh brought the score at the whistle to 24-5 and a deserved win.

The after-match tea tasted very sweet because Rita put a lot of sugar in it, much to everybody’s taste; apart that is from the ever whinging Winsland. However the skiving scouser had failed to turn up anyway since his parents were visiting. Andy, they come to see their grandchild, not you!

As two match reports have appeared since the Melton game our loyal readers can rest assured that normal service has been resumed.

Thank you for your patience. The Captain.

23rd January 2010 - Away v Loughborough (19-8)

Five weeks later, the decade finished, we take our unbeaten league record to Loughborough. The frantic phone call from Nango with at least 15minutes left before kick off indicated that perhaps our numbers were depleted, this turned out to be the case incredibly injury had cost us a number of players what the likes of Fraser and Walshy were up to in those weeks we won’t go into. Dan has taken his gardening leave and is currently on tour in the Far East searching for enlightenment, if you are not receiving his updates there will be a book with possible syndication to the Financial Times or Sunday Sport we will keep you posted.
 So 15 barely able bodied men took to the field, Nango and Wayne in reserve. From kick off it was clear that the two teams had reacted in different ways to the enforced lay off. Lions by doing bugger all, so for the first few minutes we watched a team full of young students run around like headless chickens burning off more energy than our entire team had. When we finally got our hands on the ball we made a few in roads but lacked support. It was from such a move that the first try came we were awarded a penalty, Lee Powell took a quick tap broke a tackle or two then inexplicably kicked the ball aimlessly to the Loughborough backs, they ran the ball back at us with a bit more direction than they had hitherto shown and managed to create an overlap which due to their superior pace were able to convert for the score. Kick missed (5-0). On cross examination it turns out that Powelly is off for a knee op this week and will be out for the rest of the season which may explain why he tried to simultaneously play at no8 scrum half and fly half throughout the match. That aside the rest of the first half was a low quality affair with us having most of the possession but making little headway. Some strange decisions from the ref who also gave us some of his own purls of wisdom his, “if I didn’t see it, it didn’t happen” is the classic holocaust deniers defence. Just before the half ended we had a series of scrums near the Loughborough line pushing them all over the place then the scrum collapsing, what seemed an inevitable penalty try resulted in our selves being penalised.
 Half time came only 5-0 down Nango had joined the fray a few minutes earlier as yet another injury to Buster (shoulder) had forced him off. We were reasonably confident as had controlled the game for most of the half. 
From the kick off in the second half Powelly collected the ball ran through a couple of tackles took us to the Loughborough 22, from the resulting ruck we were awarded a penalty which Puggy slotted over to make it 5-3. With us right back in the game then came 5minutes of Lions madness that cost us the game. Loughborough had brought on a big 6ft 6 winger who with his first touch managed to break a tackle he then had a free run down the wing as Iain unbeknown to us had wandered off feeling sick, a half hearted effort to come back on amounted to nothing and the big wing fed his supporting players for Loughborough to increase their lead. (12-3) a short inquest under the posts as to Iain’s condition resulted in the sound advice to stick his fingers down his throat, throw up and get on with it. He declined this advice and made way for Wayne with the proviso that he could come back on if he felt any better. Things got no better for Lions as almost the next play Loughborough broke down the same wing but this time putting a tame kick back to Nango the danger seemed to have passed, however as he went to kick the ball into touch he got his feet all wrong and missed the ball which left the way open for an easy third try to Loughborough. (19-3) At this point Nango would like  to remind us of the fine mark he took in the first half as some sort of mitigation.
The madness out the way Lions resumed control of the match, Iain miraculously recovered came back on and was almost rewarded with a try, we broke down the left had an overlap Stu Watson found Iain only then to be crudely taken out late with no attempt at a tackle. The ref failed firstly to play the obvious advantage, then secondly to even Yellow card the big 6ft 6 winger when it would have be no surprise to see a red. His claims that it was his first offence not cutting much ice with the outraged Lions, and adding fuel to my wild theory that he’s a holocaust denier.
Finally from sustained Lions pressure we secured quick ball from a ruck Nango found himself at scrum half (no idea where Powelly was) he fed Togga who to his surprise saw about a seven man overlap he drew the last man and passed to Andy Winsland who had the easy job of jogging over the line to complete the score. Winsland had other ideas and not content to score without first taking contact,  came back looking for a man to beat, when a little chap knocked him to the floor it was with relief that he was able to reach the final foot to score. This turned out to be as good as it got for the Lions and the game ended along with our unbeaten league record.
 It was a dejected dressing room feeling it was a game we could and possibly should have won. In looking for someone to blame we felt perhaps the 5 week break had some impact but we settled on blaming Skidders.   
                                            

12th December 2009 - Home v Vipers (43-10)

Another weekend arrived bringing a further opportunity for the captain to show off his organisational skills and bathe in the gratitude of his fellow players (or at least have a shower with them later). The afternoon did not start well, the true SoN had heard about Rich Alexander’s exploits the previous Saturday and decided that he too would go to his work’s do and then abdicate all responsibility towards his team mates by crying off. Not that he ever did actually announce his desire not to play; it was communicated his inability to get out of bed. The resourceful skipper had, however pre-empted this with a cunning plan (Ricky). Matt Gardner, reliable as ever, unlike some of his Lancaster colleagues, was on taxi duty for Nango taking him safely to the club a few minutes ahead of the scheduled meeting time. The journey was fairly uneventful apart from Little Cookie ringing up on behalf of Kebab asking if the latter was actually needed since he too had had an eventful Friday evening apparently. A few choice words and a phone call later Kebab was back in the team. Ricky also announced via text that he would be late; too late in fact to start the game, curses, the plan was thwarted. The team assembled slowly, with Buster appearing to be particularly lethargic on this occasion, arriving in the changing rooms even after Puggy. The usual pre-match team confidence building exercise was now in full swing, Walshie complaining about having to complete eighty minutes again, Stu spitting his dummy ‘cause he’s in at centre again’, the florist refusing to get changed until the referee had been seen and Jim Songhurst offering to referee and then being disappointed when the official turned up 10 minutes late. The weekly question about what price does the captain have to pay to ensure the tea after the game wasn’t long in coming and of course it was his fault that the ref wasn’t there, was late etc. They really do not appreciate the time, dedication and effort that I (oops), he puts in. Eventually in true vets style there were fifteen players ready to go, or at least if not quite ready to go, on the pitch about fifteen minutes after the agreed start time. The Lions are good at delaying tactics to ensure that our tardy players are fully changed prior to the KO, but the ref did the job for us this week. However, that and a penalty try was probably all he did for us!

The game began with the opposition sprinting out of the starting blocks. They hit the Lions in the early few minutes with everything they had. The Lions failed to roar and the Vipers struck with venom scoring an early try, striking a blow to very heart of the home side that had yet to wake up; in Harry’s case quite literally. Conversion missed and 0-5. Literary skills suitably demonstrated; now back to the normal drivel. Vipers did continue to play well throughout the half but as the game progressed the vipers did begin to fade (much like the current author’s memory of the game; see match report 7/11/09). Or more likely it was the fact that the Lions began to dominate, particularly the forwards, though let nothing be taken away from the backs, particularly Stu in the centre who played so well in the first half that the captain reneged on his promise to play him at 9 in the second half. Iain had some powerful runs down his wing both scoring and creating tries. After a few early errors the tactical kicking of Puggy and Matt was excellent leading to many try scoring opportunities.

The Lions first try came from an excellent backs move with Iain powering through a number of tackles. Puggy converted; 7-5. It is worthy of note that our fly half has a conversion rate of 72% which is impressive at any level. There soon followed a kickable penalty which was duly converted into three points to bring the score up to 10-5. The second try was not long after with excellent forward work leading to Gardner passing to Powelly for a stroll in under the posts. Puggy delivered (the conversion not a beautiful bouquet of flowers); 17-5.  The Lions were now dominant and with the exception of the two or three young Vipers, had the best of the play. Half time at 17-5. Nango made a couple of changes, Ricky coming on for Adrian and Jim for the tireless Rich Alexander.

The second half began where the first had left off. The home side forwards were continuing to improve with Kebab, Walshie, Cookie and Lee making inroads into the opposition defence. One such foray saw the ball spun rapidly out to Ricky on the wing, who sadly, was not quite quick enough to go outside the covering Viper’s player and ran straight into him head first. With no permanent damage done the game resumed to result quickly in a lions scrum about ten metres out. After a couple of misfeeds, the true power of the Lions pack became apparent. The scrummage at first inching towards the Blaby by-pass, soon started to move more rapidly. The Vipers scrum half was clearly offside, and was dealt with appropriately by a mildly annoyed Walshie, meanwhile the green back row appeared to stand up at about the same time as the rapidly retreating front row collapsed generating a well deserved seven points from the penalty try and conversion. 24-5. It had become obvious that the penalty count was increasingly going against the home team and that one person was responsible for most of them, and I don’t mean the ref. Vipers spent some time in the home half, but superb defence kept them at bay. Another visit to the Vipers 22 saw relentless pressure from the home pack and after a number of drives; Gardner went low to get over for the Lions fourth try converted by the reliable Puggy, 31-5. Within a few plays the boys in purple had again crossed the line with Ricky, now recovered from the earlier headache racing home to bring the score to 36-5. Conversion missed. The Lee Powell penalty count reached astronomic proportions shortly after and he was ordered to take a ten minute rest, some say very unjustly. Since the penalty try the Lions had been removed from the ref’s Christmas card list with Powelly the first to be erased. A request by the captain for the remaining time was politely answered by the ref, fifteen minutes. A quick subtraction (allegedly needing the captain’s and Stu’s fingers) meant that after ten minutes in the bin Powelly would be back for the remaining five.  Approximately ten minutes later he was back. During the next fifteen minutes Lions produced a great score by Kebab after a fumble by Vipers and the extra 2 added by Puggy who had only temporarily lost his form. The author doubts that even Einstein could explain this time dilation effect that happened during the closing stages of the game. On and on the match went with Ricky’s earlier blow to the head being blamed for the added time. Last play we all thought, particularly Lee who booted the ball up into the air in an attempt to get it off the pitch. Six or seven plays later, the inevitable happened and Vipers scored, quite deservedly in terms of their pressure, but in the 93rd minute at Vets level; draw your own conclusions! The captain calmly and with decorum asked the ref why we had played for so long, but got no reply. Oh well, back to the changing rooms for the hard earned tea, with a 43-10 victory in our latest league encounter. Well played Lions.

5th December 2009 - Home v Birstall Vets (43-7)

Having (apparently) been too dismissive of our team spirit as reported in the previous match report, my penance is to attempt to write this week’s report for people’s delectation before we actually turn up on Saturday.
It turns out that despite emails and website confirmation we were actually playing Birstall Vets rather than Old Lemingtonians (much to the disappointment of many of the team). Apparently, our illustrious leader was aware of this fact all along and had even texted Matt G to let him know (although apparently Matt was too hung over to even remember receiving a text), but failed to inform the rest of us. His excuse was too lengthy and vociferous to explain in great detail. In summary, however, he seemed to imply that we should just be grateful for all his efforts!
The now customary Lions preparations took place – people coming into the changing room in dribs and drabs, Paul again pushing the boundaries of the space/time continuum in his delicate balance of earning a crust and fulfilling his desire to keep his match fitness up to adequate Vets levels. Buster generously offered to bring in a needle and thread to help sew up our fly-half’s t shirt (which is the only gesture towards body armour he seems to think necessary), so if anyone else has any holey socks, perhaps we could start our own cottage industry at Westleigh Park?
Initial concerns that the opposition did not have a front row turned out to be unfounded as full strength scrimmaging was very much to the fore throughout the match. As we were missing Chris Johnson, Rich Alexander and Iain (the latter two were still recovering from their work’s Xmas do on the Friday night), a heated debate took place in the changing room between the captain, Fraser and Andy as to which lucky person was to play prop alongside our established front row – Fraser won, forcing Andy to play up front despite various black eyes and broken appendages. In the midst of the discussion, Fraser was heard to make an extremely relevant point “Second row is sh*t”, which our esteemed colleague Little Cookie agreed with – despite making the position his own this season!
So, to the match itself. I must confess at this point that most of what happens in these reports is news to me as I can barely remember what I do in a match, let alone anyone else, so I must give a big thanks to Nango for providing me with a tatty scrap of paper with the scoring sequence upon which I base the rest of the report.
A series of hard fought battles upfront and ferocious tackles in the backs took us towards half time with each side nullifying the other. Just before the break, however pressure on the Birstall line lead to a penalty attempt which was converted by our reliable number 10 (3-0). Things got better minutes later when Lee Powell plunged over the line after taking a line out from the opposition close to the touchline, which was unconverted. Half time (8-0).
Refreshed by our ice cold, half-time water, the Lions continued to press for control in the second half. Fraser, bored by his position on the flank, moved into the front row and helped our pack to start dominate scrum proceedings (obviously completely legally – how is it our fault if the opposition cannot stop the scrum wheeling?). Quick scores followed from Matt G (15-0), a second try from our in form No 8 Lee (22-0) and after another outrageous dummy Paul scored under the posts (29-0). All three tries were converted.
With 15 minutes left to play, it seemed as if the Lions would settle for this handsome score line. Little did the supporters know that they were about to see a try of such blinding glory that they will be claiming for generations around the clubhouse fire that “they were there”.
The Lions won a scrappy turnover on the right half way line. Passing along the line, Daniel managed to co-ordinate hands and eyes to claim the ball (it seems Daniel can only catch balls passed to him when facing due north – he had dropped every other pass in the first half facing the other direction). The Birstall side were pleased to see their winger tackle the winger to the ground, thinking that they had thwarted another Lions attack. Little did they realise that I had been lurking on the wing for such an occasion all season (this obviously has more to do with my lightning rugby brain rather than a lack of fitness). I called for the ball and took it from a pop pass whilst running on a loop outside the supine Dan. Taking the ball in my right hand I bounced the opposition full back onto the ground and had a clear run to the line from the 22 yard line (this despite stopping, realising there was no one anywhere near me to pass to and being able to pull my shorts up as I trundled over the line). One Charlie Hillier was heard to say afterwards that it was the best thing he had ever seen on a rugby pitch. Obviously I am too modest to agree to such a sentiment, but Goz did manage to catch a picture of me in all my glory. Paul duly converted the try (36-0).
Obviously spurred by my actions, Birstall then staged a fight back. After a highly dubious offside decision from the ref, their youthful centre managed to evade a number of Lions tackles to score a converted try under our posts. (36-7).
The final minutes of the match saw a ball kicked forward by Matt G to enable a highly laid back Harry to score his début senior rugby try (43-7). People with a fuller view of the pitch were slightly worried that the actual SON was taking too long to touch the ball down and that he was going to be wiped out by their rapidly approaching winger. Harry proved to be toying with both us and the opposition as his brinkmanship still allowed him to score and play out the remaining seconds left on the clock.
Another fantastic performance from the Lions and congratulations to all involved. Back to the League next week and an appearance from one of Vipers many teams looms – which one remains to be seen!
Post script: news filtered into the bar that one A.Vann had been seen turning out for Coalville in the past few weeks. A possible email campaign to reclaim our valiant centre was mooted, but was overruled in favour of either blackmail or kidnapping him on a Saturday morning. Hopefully, if he is reading this, Vanny will realise the error of his ways and be the returning hero as our league campaign continues in the new year!

28th November 2009 - Away v Old Newtonians (12-19)

The Division's two remaining unbeaten sides met when Old Newts entertained Lions on a miserable wet saturday afternoon and things were to get off to an inauspicious start for Lions, with three fixtures to fulfil at the Hinckley Road ground, Lions found themselves having to change in shifts due to the cramped nature of the allocated dressing room, relieved slightly due to the late arrival of several key players. Despite impairments to several front row players (Wayne, the latest casualty to join the growing injury list) the Captain in his wisdom was generous enough to provided Songhurst's 3rd team with Chris Johnson, the magnanimous gesture was to go unpunished when it appeared shortly after that the day's opponents also had a front row crisis of their own that resulted in the game being completed with unopposed scrummages. The Captain's next decision, after finding some warm training tops, bottoms, hat & gloves, was to abdicate from all responsibility, passing the arm band to Powelly for the days proceedings.
After a heated discussion regarding the work ethic of the Public Sector workers within the team and the camaraderie of the opposition the game began, Newts started with aggression and purpose up front but almost immediately found themselves in trouble when their 10 pulled a hamstring that was to plague him for the remainder of the game. Poor handling, missed tackles and a failed kick at goal apiece belied the League postions of both sides, the deadlock was eventually broken when good lineout ball, secured by Little Cookie was spun wide and Togga was able to dance through the defense for a good score, ably converted by Puggy 0-7.
The only other incident of note in the half saw Big Matt recieve some fisty cuffs from a member of the Newts back row after a case of mistaken identity, Winsland having ran over the top of the aggrieved Newt moments earlier.
Second half changes saw Stu replace Buster at scrum half and Harry for Daniel, Nango now toasty warm in his protective layers, deciding to keep himself on the bench. The second half saw a continuation of the handling errors prevalent in the previous 40 minutes however Lions began attacking with more conviction with both Togga & Iain making good ground whilst tactical kicking from Matt Gardner & Puggy also kept the play in Newts half despite the step incline of the pitch. One such kick from Puggy, retrieved by Harry and recycled by Matt G resulted in Togga spinning a long pass to Iain and Lions camped on the Home side try line with Powelly scoring from the resultant maul, 0-12. Newts responded immediately, despite Little Cookie securing the kick off, Lions managed to loose the ball in midfield and a kick through provided the home side with a converted score 7-12. Newts were determined to protect their unbeaten status and the unopposed scrummages presented their No8 opportunity to pick up and go at every scrum and only a good tackle by Adrian prevented one such foray from reaching the try line. With the momentum now with the home side Lions dug deep to protect the lead with Harry going close before Fraser managed a powerful drive, off loading to Rich who in turn found Togga whose illusive running delivered another Lions score, 7-19. The victory was put in doubt when a series of missed tackles saw Newts cross for their second try 12-19 but Lions managed to hold off a late onslaught by the Newts to record the narrow victory.
The result was celebrated in the postage stamp changing room with hot tea, sugar provided separately (Rita please note) and a couple of wins in the after match raffle. The final poignant activity of the day involved Big Matt, having earlier extolled the virtue of the Newts team ethic and vilified those around him with his diatribe regarding the luxury of friendship, he may, on his journey home have had time to reconsider his thoughts on the subject after seeing his car extricated from the mud by his admonished team mates.
 

21st November 2009 - Home v Market Harborough (31-7)

With Togga (injured again), Big Cookie (most likely retired), Daniel (time of the month) and Wilba, Colonel & the Earnshaw’s all recalled to the threes, Lions were forced to field an unfamiliar side for Saturday’s home fixture against the day’s opposition, Harborough Vet. The Captain, having cried off the difficult Lutterworth league game was available for this friendly fixture and was also able to add Fraser & Gareth to a much depleted team sheet.
The Lions Vets, unable to adapt to the 2.15 kick off’s, arrived at the bottom pitch in ones & twos to discover that the opposition were already drilling, practicing moves & line outs having already been good enough to mark out the pitch with the flags and positioned the post protectors. After a cursory stud check the Ref was ready to get proceedings underway however once again the team’s delinquent stand off was nowhere to be found. A series of delaying tactics ensued to allow said player time to change and take his place at 10.
With the heavy rain of earlier in the day now abated the game kicked off. The home side were immediately put under pressure as the visitors showed their intent to play a running game and Powelly was equally determined to give away as many penalties as he could (it was up to three before any of his team mates had touched the ball). With the game barely 5 minutes in, Wayne pulled up with shoulder / arm pain and the home side were forced to make an early change, Big Matt took his place in the front row.
The small crowd on the bottom pitch watched on as the Visitors continued to have all of the ball and territory with Lions rarely threatened the Visitors half, relying on the left book of chunky centre Matt Gardner to relieve the pressure. Harborough continually forayed down the left wing and on each occasion were repulsed by our young wing Harry and the omnipresent Gareth. When Lions eventually managed to secure ball in space the older Nangreave made good use with an electrifying run through the middle of the pitch darting in all directions to evade capture, eventually releasing Iain on the wing who in turn found Gareth who set up ruck ball close to the Visitors 10m line. The ball was recycled quickly by Buster and finding a huge gap in the defence Walshy was able to rampage through unmolested for a score under the posts. After a short interval which saw Puggy flapping unable to find his kicking tee the conversion was eventually completed for a 7-0 lead very much against the run of play.

Harborough, whilst dominant at the line out were struggling badly in the scrum and Tudgy was able to take several balls against the head, leading to the Visitors scrum half feeding, which was eventually picked up by the ref. Lions now in the ascendancy began to exert pressure of their own and when Tudgy tackled a Harborough ball carrier close to his own line a score seemed inevitable when Buster released Stu Watson but the errant centre, 5m out, led with his elbow rugby league style and was pinged immediately on contact with a defender allowing the Visitors to make a relieving kick. The game continued with the ball trapped in the midfield until Lions having secured a good ruck decided to leave the ball unattended at it’s base and not wanting to seem ungrateful the Harborough 13 stepped over to collect the ball and race in 50m for a score 7-7. Matt G put the restart directly out of play however from the resultant scrum the Lions pack were able to steal the ball and take in deep in to the visitors half however another indiscretion (perpetrator unknown, my guess Powelly) gave possession back to the Visitors and on attempting a quick penalty the tapped ball was knocked forward giving Lions a scrummage in a dangerous position. From the base of the scrum Buster was able to feed Matt G who in turn released his Captain to dart in for an unconverted score 12-7 followed immediately by the half time whistle. 
Buster & Little Cookie made way for Fraser & Winsland and the game continued. With Gareth terrorising the opposition back line Lions mounted a series of attacks and on each occasion Matt G’s passes found the butter fingers of his new centre partner, Fraser, in front of them! Despite the handling errors and a lack of recognised line out jumper (Little Cookie now confined to the sideline) Lions continued to provide the majority of the attacking intent and when Walshy stole ball at the front of a line out Powelly was able to burrow in for an early score 17-7. Shortly after, a ruck on the far right of the pitch saw Stu now at scrum half spin a pass to his stand off Puggy who was able to pop the ball to Winsland who hit the gap at full pace for a certain score however screams from his team mates to use the overlap forced him to spurn the opportunity and spin a log pass to Walshy, who showing great dexterity, managed to pluck the ball from the air and immediately release his captain for his second score of the day this time followed up by the kick 24-7. Despite the comfortable lead, Fraser, confidence shattered by numerous spills of the ball was desperate to return to his comfort zone and finish the game in the pack, making his swap with colleague Gareth. With a victory secured, Lions collective concentration lapsed and the visitors began to mount sustained attacks and successive penalties saw a series of quick tap and go’s and Lions defending their line. A kick through from the Harborough stand off saw Nango caught in two minds and rather than kick to safely elected to shepherd the ball over the try line to touch down for the 22, however the ball had other ideas and came to a sudden halt short of the line, panic set in and the Captain picked up the ball and inexplicably started to run the ball over his own line, then over the deadball line and was inches short of the Blaby by-pass before the Ref’s whistle finally brought him back to the field of play. The Lions pack managed to recover the ball from the resultant 5m scrum and the ball was hoofed up the field were Gareth was able to display some majestic footballing skills  dribbling the ball over the Harborough goal line for a further converted score 31-7. With only moments left, Harborough mounted a final attack which ended with Fraser appearing to hump somebody, the referee had seen enough and blew.

The after match warm and excessively sugary tea (Rita take note) was enjoyed with some jovial & hearty banter until abruptly ended when Puggy decided to share his macabre, deeply unpleasant coat hanger story. 

14th November 2009 - Home v Lutterworth (28-0)

Another home game, so the policy of playing in the league is paying off, the fact that we are still unbeaten is an added bonus. A wet and windy day greeted us so it was no surprise that Lutterworth were the visitors, whenever we play them the weather seems to take a dislike to the fixture. Looking a bit thin on numbers earlier in the week, we were boosted by news that the 3rd team fixture was off, as a flesh eating virus was sweeping through the team and Roly’s wife wouldn’t let him out to play. The origins of this virus were allegedly from Coalville where a player had allegedly been sleeping with his parrot and the psittacosis virus had mutated. (Or perhaps it was just a small skin rash that two or three players had contracted and had nothing to do with the above).
So the welcome return of Wilba and Colonol from their loan spell and James Earnshaw added to the bench. Togga also returns from his semi retirement. Lee Powell captains today as Nango is required in his other role as a respected educator of the nations youth.
As we were all sitting getting changed (I say all I don’t include Puggy in that as he took brinkmanship to a new level this week) we heard strange noises coming from the 1st team dressing room, some say it was music but to the attuned ears of us vets there was clearly no melody or tune so it can’t have been a song. Apparently it turns out to be some sort of rap music to fire them up, which clearly had the desired effect as they went on to win 44-5. The cynics amongst you may suggest the big victory had more to do with the late arrival of the opposition after a seven hour bus journey, three of which stuck in a jam on the M1, rather than the music/rap, reader you decide.

Then followed a ten minute spell where we were camped on our own line, great defence all round from the forwards ensured it wasn’t breached. With a few minutes of the first half remaining we had a kickable penalty which Puggy duly dispatched to take us into the break 3-0 up.
Half time verdict was we felt we had done well against the elements and more of the same would see us home, our discipline had been good and I even include Wilba in this, which had been a big factor in our lead. A couple of changes in the backs with Buster coming off after his customary half (calf still in tact) Stu moved to scrum half and Matt Earnshaw into the centres. In the forwards we had a master plan and over the first ten minutes of the second half had changed Andy Winsland for rich Alexander, James Earnshaw for Wayne and Chris for Big Matt at prop. Conservative estimates gave us a weight gain of 16stones.
 We kicked off for the second half in confident mood, early breaks from Iain and Matt Earnshaw and pinpoint kicking from Puggy gave us the ascendancy before a second kickable penalty was awarded and Puggy increased our advantage. (6-0) having the weight advantage in the forwards was telling and after another quick ruck the ball was fed out left from Puggy to Togga who found himself with a bit of space. 
A smart dummy and sidestep of the full back then finding pace he didn’t know he had himself raced under the posts for the first try of the day. Conversion added 13-0. Lutterworth realising they were unlikely to get anything out of the game seemed to run out of ideas and on the next Lions attack Matt Earnshaw ignoring his three man overlap threw a dummy and then with great strength forced himself over the line for the second try, Puggy converted 20-0. Minutes later another smart backs move a miss pass from Puggy to Togga created space for Iain on the charge who this time making no mistake with the finishing scattered the feeble defenders like skittles to score in the corner 25-0.
The last 15 minutes were very open and more points should have been added. A deft kick through by Matt Earnshaw found brother James a couple of meters from the line only needing to bend down pick the ball up  and fall over the line. On bending down he found he could reach no further than his knees he knocked on fell over, and then flapped around like a fish out of water not his finest moment but he can take heart from the consoling words he got from his team mates. A final penalty in front of the posts was the last play of the game, the majority of the vets were happy to take the points on offer, as far too much running had preceded this. This was slotted over by Puggy for a final score of 28-0 and a good afternoon’s work, even praise for the referee who had a fine game rare indeed these days.
As we trotted off passing the 1st team playing under floodlights due to late arrival of Westoe our final act of the day was to drink their tea and use up the hot water to compound their miserable day. 
  

7th November 2009 - Home v Leicester Forest (29-15)

The brevity of this match report is partly due to the inability of the captain to meet a deadline and also because he has a terrible memory for detail. The copy was due on Tuesday bit never arrived until Sunday.
A smaller squad than usual assembled at Westleigh Park. The injury list has not yet reduced in size at all. We were, however welcoming back Gareth Whitehead onto the flank, but missing Walshie who had to earn a crust. With the younger Nangreave on the bench, the remaining fifteen slowly ambled down to the bottom field in true vet’s fashion. Indeed it was reminiscent of that game against Melbourne seconds, which led to the advent of our website. Nango meanwhile had negotiated with the referee for 35 minute halves and more importantly with Rita to ensure that there would be a refreshing brew for the lads after the game. The hapless skipper had taken so much abuse over this after-game ritual that he had been forced into several unusual liaisons with the maid of the kitchen.
The skipper won the toss and chose to play with the wind giving the kick off to Forest. The current author has no recollection of what happened after that, though the scoring sequence was 7-0, 7-5, 12-5, 19-5, 26-5. Half time and the only change was Nangreave junior for Quelch. In the second half the opposition looked like a different team. Yes, they did change quite a few at half time. They scored twice to make the score 26-15. This scare by Forest led the Lions pack to regroup and shut them out for the rest of the game. The Lions’ tries were scored by Langridge, Whitehead, Powell and Puggy, who sold a dummy last seen before many of the Forest players were born (thanks, Paul). He also converted three of them. The referee got a bit fed up with Forest banter so somewhat early declared ‘last play’ at a Lions penalty. Lee Powell decided on behalf of the captain that we would kick the goal even though Nango had called for the reliable boot of our number ten some two minutes earlier. Puggy duly obliged, as did the referee and the game ended with a great win for the Lions 29-15. Well played all.
The aforementioned sugary liquid was delivered by Lee to a gagging team and all were happy, for the time being; though it wasn’t long before Stu Watson found something to complain about. Back to league action next week.

31st October 2009 - Home v Ashby (WO)

No Game - Walk Over

24th October 2009 - Home v Aylestone Athletic (66-12)

Despite a growing list of injuries; Gozzo, Winsland, Big Cookie, Togga, Sharpy & Charlie (collar, neck, ankle, knees, shoulder & everything, respectively) plus Daniel needing the time to prepare for a dinner dance that evening our Captain Nango was still able to pull together a strong squad with Gareth, Buster (recovered from Calf injury) and Bull (having arrived too late for the 3rds fixture at Leicester Forest) all available for selection.
As the heavy rain, much favoured by the ponderous Lions pack, abated and gloriously autumn sunshine bathed the Westleigh ground it was discovered that for the second successive game we’d be providing the opposition with a body for the front row, the arrangement, as last week saw Big Matt join the Aylestone Athletic pack.
The opening to the game saw Matt Gardner provide a master class he’sprobably glad his students didn’t see, having found his kick off, falling short of the obligatory 10m and go unpunished by the ref he proceeded to give a forward pass and a knock on with his next 2 plays.
The majority of the early exchanges occurred between the 22’s with Lions dominating the tight and the visitors looking dangerous outside. A penalty at the scrum for an indeterminate misdemeanour from Wayne saw the visitors take a quick tap and go, 10m from the Lions line and another penalty taken quickly but the ball was stolen by Lions at the contact, allowing Stu Watson to break, releasing Gareth & Walshy down the left wing, with the last defender committed, Walshy threw a forward pass to prevent a score for Iain on the wing an activity Walshy was to repeat on several occasions during the remainder of the game. Further disappointment followed as less than 10 minutes in, Buster and his dodgy calf limp from the field, a bit of a rearranging saw Adrian step in at centre and Stu move to scrum half. Lions at last found themselves threatening the Athletic line and with a penalty awarded 5m out elected to scrummage. The heavier Lions pack drove the defenders back over their own line for Powelly to score from No8, 5-0. The lead was short-lived as the Visitors taking clean line out ball were able to distribute to the No10 who managed to take the ball from his own half to the Lions line and after a passing interplay with his wing was able to score a good try, 5-7. Notwithstanding the set back Lions continued to play well and a quick tap penalty from Bull halted at the line, saw Little Cookie pick up the ball and dummy the defenders before breezing over the line, Puggy comfortably added the extras, 12-7. Lions were now playing expansive rugby and finishing clinically, first a score for Nango who was involved in the move 3 times, 19-7 and then the best move of the half involving Adrian, Gareth, Iain & Little Cookie before Walshy was able to put Stu in unopposed, 26-7, Puggy landing the kick from the touch line.

Half time arrived allowing Big Matt to return to the Lions Pack with Wayne joining the opposition, Chris Johnson on and Little Cookie off. The pattern remained unchanged, with the backs maintaining the tempo as they immediately added a further score, loose ball scooped up by Rich Alex was popped to Puggy who in turned delivered a delicate inside pass to Matt Gardner to wrong foot the defence and allow Matt to sprint in for the score; 33-7 followed shortly after by a score for Walshy finishing off a flowing passage of play from Bull & Iain 38-7. Bull again provided the attacking force from the pack and went close but when stopped on the line Lee Powell in a rich vain of scoring was able to break the line for his fifth score in 2 games (last weeks jug still to materialise!) 45-7. After short breaks for blood injuries to both Athletic & Lions, Matt Gardner using his injury as an opportunity to have a blow, take in some fluids and bore the spectators about his contribution to the game so far. When the game eventually restarted, it was the aforementioned malingerer that obliged with the next score, with a three man overlap he elected to ignore them and cut back inside for an easy score, 52-7. Two minutes later as the Athletics’ 10 attempted to break from his own half he was mugged of the ball by Puggy & Matt G, the pass to Junior Nango fell behind the wingers shoulder but was fortuitously snapped up by Powelly running in support and able to time his pass perfectly for wing forward Gareth to sprint in, 59-7. To their credit Athletic showed character and continued to take the fight to Lions with most of their best moves coming through the No10 and when a ball squirted loose from the scrum it was the 10 who reacted quickest taking the ball close to the Lions line before releasing his centre to canter in, 59-12. As the game drew to its inevitable conclusion, the Lions with no recognised jumper (Little Cookie disposed of at half time) managed to win a lineout; the ball was passed swiftly from right to left for Gareth to collect his second score of the game, 66-12 after Puggy completed his 8th successful conversion of the day. The final play of the game saw Lions penalised 10m for disputing a decision, as Lions trudged back, Athletic took advantage of this lack of concentration and raced down the wing towards the line and despite a head start and about a 30 years age differential the Wing was unable to stave off his adversary, the aged fullback bringing down the young buck a metre short of scoring, witnessed by his adoring wife cheering from the sideline!
The victory, No3 on the bounce was made doubly pleasurable when on returning to the changing rooms it became apparent that the dispute with Rita that had raged all season (see match report for 5th Sep) had been resolved in the form of a fresh brew, had Nango done the honourable thing? We may never know.

17th October 2009 - Away v Birstall (7-39)

Despite assurances from the BBC weather forecast, the sunny day that had been promised failed to materialise and it was in grey overcast conditions that the Lions side buoyed by their first victory of the season arrived at Longslade Community College, home of Birstall RFC. With Big Cookie & Sharpy missing from the pack and the backs depleted by injuries to both Charlie & Buster and the likely incarceration of Daniel by the Tokyo constabulary, Nango was able to pull some rabbits out of the hat in the form of seasonal debut’s for Fraser, Dudley & Leathers, the latter resplendent in a shiny new scull cap.
Team selection, completed by Nango & Powelly in the changing room by the annotation of an “F” or “B” against each name on the team sheet until all necessary positions had been filled, required immediate revision when on arriving pitch side it appeared the home side, despite several replacements did not have the requisite number of front row players and as a magnanimous gesture it was decided Winsland & Big Matt should each serve the opposition for a half. As had been the case the previous season with Big Cookie, neither of the two rubenesque volunteers found stripes a flattering uniform.

3rd October 2009 - Away v Broadstreet (74-7)

After the disappointment of last week’s cancelled game there was some excitement at the club as twelve of the team assembled at Lions at the arranged time. There was alas some doubt as to who we were playing. The classics, as the Broadstreet mixture of vets and youth are called (see match report 14th March 2009), was the opinion of the captain, but some others were less sure.
We set off and arrived at Ivan Preece Fields in plenty of time to meet the rest of the side and perform the usual pre-match preparations; a last cigarette or two, a look round the clubhouse or an interesting discussion with a Broadstreet official about the interpretation of The Protection of Children Act 1999. Apparently it is safe for children to wander around Coventry on their own but it is forbidden for them to go anywhere near a changing room with their father. Rumours continued to blossom, like one of Puggy’s roses about the nature of the Broadstreet squad. The thirds don’t have a game was the favoured opinion. Indeed it was the florist himself adding this fuel to the debate. To further the woes Nango got a rather incredulous look when he mentioned the normal 35 minute halves, but in the end this was agreed and the squad assembled on the pitch to have the routine stud check. There are none in the vets!
We were welcoming back Matt Gardner long after any cricket must have finished and Charlie Hillyer long before the pitches were soft. We also had the inclusion of the true Son of Nango, Harry making his debut for any team since school. There are still some notable absentees from the team also, they know who they are.

 The author is not going to describe the action on the pitch. Lions scored a good try via Iain Langridge to leave the final score 74-7 and a very bitter taste in the mouth.  After a great game last year it is rather unbelievable that the opposition could load their team with third team players to such an extent that the contest was rendered pointless. “No fixture” claims the Broadstreet website unlike the ball which had 3rds written all over it. Enough said, though I suggest it is unlikely that we shall play them again.
Next week is the advent of league rugby to the vets as we take on the might of Stoneygate fourths or whatever.

19th September 2009 - Away v Market Harborough (33-7)

A Lions side ravaged by retirement and injury and without a win in the current campaign made the trip to rural south east Leicestershire for the away fixture at Market Harborough without the usual optimism, arriving in plenty of time they found the ground bathed in sunshine without a breath of wind, not ideal conditions for the ponderous Lions forwards missing their pack leader Powelly. With a bare XV (the absence of Jason Watson after his one outing, duly noted) and significantly handicapped by a lack of recognised backs Nango was again forced to play key players out of position, a disgruntled Aidy Smith on his first outing of the season expelled to the wing. Before kick off further team changes were necessary when it became apparent that the hosts had a deficiency in the front row, a gallant Matt Cunningham offered his services whilst the Lions pack was bolstered by Ken Claricoates, (Referee & Ex S.Leicester player) found wandering around without a game. With the kick off imminent, Lions received a boost, Wilba, with an exceptionally effeminate jog, ambled over from the changing rooms, allowing Walshy the luxury of a seat on the bench.
Once the referee had given instructions to the two front rows and given counsel to the gathered squads on the subject of industrial language (Lions had travelled with their usual crèche) the game began. No call from the kick off saw the hosts provide the early threat and a score was prevented by a timely interception from Adrian Gyles. The home side continued to attack, the Scrum half constantly hitting the blind side but was unable to break down the Lions defence. A series of promising moves from Lions produced territorial parity however with the Hosts constantly testing the off side laws Lions failed to convert possession in to points until a loose defensive kick was plucked from the air by Big Cookie who then drove forward with purpose setting up a ruck and a score for Wilba, the conversion slotted home by Puggy, 0-7. The lead was short lived with Market Harborough scoring directly from the restart 7-7 followed almost immediately by a gift score down the blind side 12-7. When a Lions lineout ball failed to clear the first Harborough jumper the visitors saw themselves soaking up further pressure and a period of extended play saw the pitch strewn with casualties. Once the wounded had been attended to the game continued with the Home side mounting a series of attacks and only Wilba’s persistent nuisance at the breakdown providing any ball for Lions to use. The half time whistle was preceded by an excellent tackle from Nango with the attacker only metres from the try line.

The second half began without the normal spate of substitutions, Nango’s normal tactical modifications limited by a lack of personnel, Walshy on for the hard working Harborough proxy the only change. Lions started the second half positively and only the constant infringements from the home side prevented Daniel, the two Adrian’s & Stu Watson making gains.  One too many blatant offsides eventually causing Puggy to lose his composure, the usually unflappable stand off tacking the laws in to his own hand in an Old Testament manner. Against the run of play Harborough managed another score after a clean break from centre 19-7 followed in quick succession by another this time the scorer benefiting from some excellent crossing / blocking by his comrades preventing Lions defenders getting close 26-7. Lions defence is nothing if not obdurate and after surviving a number of further flurries from their Hosts they launched an attack of their own late in the half led by Wilba & Walshy and after Chris, Wayne & Tudgy began to give their opposite numbers a torrid time in the scrum they were encouraged by the Referee to moderate their efforts. The hosts added a final score after the impressive Harborough Scrum Half again broke down the blind side, 33-7, a disconsolate Nango and his team trudged from the pitch.
The drought continues, three straight defeats, without Vanny, Colonel, Charlie, Gozzo & Togga, Lions lack the cutting edge to punish opposition defences, this could be a difficult season. To finish on a positive note, the match reporter will be sunning himself in Menorca for the next two weeks, back in time for Stoneygate and the first League outing, coccyx permitting. 
 

In a break from tradition, for the Burbage Match we have two independent match reports for your perusal: